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First Draft Of A Descriptive Essay About A Garden

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Describing a Place

Last Updated on Sun, 19 Nov 2017 | Academic Writing

Work first by yourself, and then with a partner to edit your paragraph. Write a paragraph in which you describe a place that is special to you, or choose one of the places listed below.

TOPIC SUGGESTIONS

STEP I:

Prewrite to Get Ideas

Your classroom

The student cafeteria at lunchtime Your grandmother's kitchen A crowded bus on a hot day The subway at rush hour A disco on a weekend night A beach at sunset A holiday parade

Your house or apartment after a big party A cemetery at midnight Your workplace A hospital emergency room The town square on market day The town square in a town in the evening

Follow these steps:

• Use the clustering technique shown on pages 91-92.

STEP 2:

Outline to Organize the Ideas

Topic Sentence:

• The second step is to develop an outline. An outline from the clustering about "My Garden" might look like this:

Concluding Sentence:

My Garden

Even on a hot summer day, my garden feels cool.

A. Flowers

B. Trees

• Japanese maple trees

C. Fountain

• peaceful, quiet sound

My garden's soft colors and quiet sounds make it a peaceful place to relax.

STEP 3: • In the next step, the writer changed the outline in order to use space

Revise the Outline organization. She started with the flowers along the fence and moved to to Show Space the fountain in the corner of the fence and then to the trees around the

Order fountain. Since the white vines are not with the flowers but are in another part of the garden (on the side of the garage), she put them last.

Then she added the prepositional phrases of place to show the space order. Her new outline might look like this:

Topic Sentence:

Concluding Sentence:

My Garden

Even on a hot summer day, my garden feels cool.

A. Along the inside of the fence, flowers

B. In the corner of the fence, small fountain

• peaceful, quiet sound

C. Around the fountain, trees

• Japanese maple trees

D. On the side of the garage, white vines

My garden's soft colors and quiet sounds make it a peaceful place to relax.

STEP 4:

Write the First Draft

Begin your paragraph with a topic sentence that names the place and gives a main idea about it. Use an adjective such as luxurious, messy, beautiful, plain, wild, mysterious, or ugly. Your first sentence should be like these:

The Club 100 is especially fun on Friday nights. Oceanside Beach is very peaceful at sunset. Our classroom is very functional.

Use some kind of space order (right to left, top to bottom, far to near, etc.) Use prepositional phrases to show the order. Put some of the prepositional phrases at the beginning of their sentences. Write several sentences that give descriptive details. Be very specific. Try to paint a picture with words. You can describe objects, and you can also tell what people are doing in the place. Use adjectives in your descriptive details.

STEP 5: • Edit your paragraph with a partner using this Paragraph Checklist.

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